Shallow sleep
by goddessmoonselene
Summary: Mamoru breaks up with Usagi because of his dreams. But what if Usagi doesn't want him back? Not because she doesn't love him anymore, but something deeper that not even The Goddess Selene can do anything to stop. Will Mamoru be too late?
1. The news

**TITLE:** Shallow sleep

**AUTHOR:** goddessmoonselene

**NOTES:** I reposted this story because I forgot the password to my old pen name. The title "Shallow sleep" is a song by Hyde. Sailor Moon is by no means mine, it is owned by Naoko Takeuchi. Comments of any kind will be highly appreciated

Bright rays of sunlight opened up the real beauty of nature, unleashing its colors. The earth looked like one giant globe of beauty, a picture of paradise. The wind passed by occasionally, as if teasing people with their angelic touches

that offered comfort. The sun was high above the blue sky adorned with cotton candy like clouds that look good enough to eat. The birds were chirping happily while others melodiously sang.

It was like a perfect day, despite the time, the sun wasn't as scorching as people expected it to be, seems like mother nature took pity on her people, after all, the sun wasn't as forgiving as it was before. While everyone enjoyed the vast amount of happiness and peace that the water offered, one young lady, however, was forced to go to the Hospital as per request of the doctor.

Tsukino Usagi was sitting at the patient's chair, fronting her doctor who was all too serious in reading her health records. Usagi never did like going to hospitals, they were giving her a sense of danger and somehow, sadness. Usagi

eyed the whole place like a curious little rabbit that she was. Her doctor lowered the folder and placed a smile on his face seeing Usagi like a child. He sighed heavily and gave out a fake cough to get the curious rabbit's

attention. Usagi looked back, slightly blushing at her own actions.

The doctor slumped back at his chair as it gave a slight squeaky sound. "Tsukino-san, as you know, you had a medical checkup last time you were here. Around last February? Am I correct?" The doctor began, and Usagi nodded.

"My mother told me to come here because it seemed to her that I looked paler than usual." Usagi explained briefly.

The doctor nodded and placed his elbows on the armchairs. "Usagi-chan, have you been feeling strange during those periods of time?" He seriously asked as he narrowed his gaze on the young woman.

Usagi looked up to have her brain rewind the events that happened before she had the checkup about a month ago. "Come to think of it." Usagi began, still looking up the white ceiling. "I have been feeling weak lately. I would often be "prone", connoting the term. I have been having dizzy spells for the past times. Doushite?"

The doctor sighed heavily. What did Usagi do to deserve this? He wasn't a believer at first, as he asked the people to check over and over again if it was possible. Not only one or two hospital checked on Usagi's condition, but five. Five same results finally made him into a believer. He rubbed the bridge of his nose as he took off his glasses.

"Usagi-chan," He began, placing his glasses back. "You... Your... you are ill Usagi." He said as simple as that, without telling her what.

Usagi was confused. Ill of what? There were probably millions of illness she could acquire... which one? "Of what doctor?" Usagi inquired innocently.

This is not going to be easy. The doctor thought. "Usagi, I regret to inform you... but... you are ill with Leukemia and A heart complication." The doctor finally blurted out, but it wasn't easy for him to say so.

Usagi's face was drained with color. She looked like someone who came out of their own grave, pale and white. Usagi tried to smile, but her attempts failed. "Demo... Isha (doctor) ... maybe...th-they w-were...m-mis-mistaken. I-it couldn't be... could it?"

The doctor moved back and got something from his drawer. He pulled out a folder and handed it to Usagi. "Gomen Usagi. But when five of the most renowned Hospitals in Japan tell you the same thing... it must be true."

Usagi couldn't breath. It was like her world fell on her like a ton of rocks from the highest mountain. Her hands were shaking as she tried to open the folder. She flipped the paper and found out that they all said the same thing. She looked back at the doctor with unshed tears.

"I'll explain to you the other one. It is when your heart grows too big that the body can not accommodate it anymore, therefore, the only thing that will happen

is..."

"Heart failure." Usagi trailed off, looking down. "This can't be!" Usagi yelled. "Why is this happening to me? Naze?" Usagi asked the doctor, looking at him, tears falling freely in her rosy cheeks.

The doctor shook his head in sympathy. "Gomen Usagi-chan. I can't answer that question." He said in defeat. "I wish I could do something, but... if you had your check up earlier..."

Usagi's lips began to quiver. She bit her lip to restrain herself. "Gomen." She weakly said. "I... it's not your fault. I...I guess... I... never mind." She looked up at the doctor and stood up. "I... I better be going."

The doctor stood up as well. "Usagi, allow me to accompany you outside at least." The doctor offered, offering his hand to her.

Usagi smiled gratefully at the doctor and took his hand. "Arigatou Isha." And with that, the two went out of his office and proceeded to the halls. They chatted about things to keep Usagi's mind preoccupied, at least for the time being. When they finally reached the end of the building where the entrance was located, the doctor looked at Usagi.

"Well kawaii Usagi, I guess this is where I leave you. Ki wo tsukete." The doctor reminded with a grin on his face, making Usagi turn a light shade of crimson.

Usagi bowed in gratitude to what her Isha was showing her. She walked away; her usual bubbly, skipping self was left behind. She looked all too serious for comfort, wondering how the people around her were going to react with her news. I can't. Usagi thought heavily. I can't say it. I don't want to see them sad. She added as tears threatened to fall.

She wasn't aware of where she was going or how long she was walking, she left it all to her feet and instincts to guide her wherever they wanted her to be, after all, they said that more often than not, the instinct is right, ne? As she looked up to see where she was, she saw Mamoru seated on the bench fronting the lake.

She smiled at the sight of him, while her heart was beating faster than the usual rate. She rushed down and gave Mamoru one of her famous bear hugs. Mamoru was startled to say the least when he was greeted by his heavenly princess.

"Mamo-chan!" Usagi squealed as she squeezed the life out of him. "Genki desu ka?" She excitedly asked.

Sighing, Mamoru looked back to see Usagi smiling like she always did, but something was missing in her smile, even in her cerulean orbs, the sparkle faded. "Usagi..." Mamoru called out, sounding formal and distant.

Usagi was taken a back by his tone and use of her name. "M-Mamo-chan?"

"Don't call me that Usagi." He simply said. It hurts me now, that you call me that. He thought sadly. Looking at her with a black stare, "Usagi, I have something to tell you." He said.

Uh oh. Usagi thought. When he says "we have something to talk" that usually means something deep. Usagi thought, panicking. "Okay Mamo...

"It's Mamoru, Usagi." Mamoru hissed which made Usagi worried. He was getting to be cold, as if he was telling her to get lost, but why?

Mamoru was the first to walk, with Usagi behind, roughly about ten footsteps away from him. Somehow, in Usagi's heart, she couldn't erase the feeling of dread that something wasn't right, and this wasn't one of those usual serious conversations they had.


	2. Chapter 2

I really appreciate all those who gave their comments on the 1st chapter. ☺ It meant so much to me. You can expect me to update soon since I've been inspired in a not so happy way. :P But please tell me what you think about this chapter so I can start on the next one.

**Shout outs to the reviewers:**

sereNendy

sailor cyanide

Chrissienuil

daisy31

Shallow sleep

book 2; let it rain on me

----------------------------

Reddish orange streaks filled the whole city of Tokyo as the sun began to

set. The sun was like a huge fireball, ready to toast the world any moment as

trees, leaves and flowers bowed down to the master who was soon coming, darkness.

The wind was wild, like little ballerinas performing with their graceful

movement. It was cold, contrary to what people thought.

Usagi and Mamoru weren't admiring the sunset like they usually did, alas, they

were heading for the park, not together hand in hand, but separate. Usagi

continued to look down on the ground while Mamoru would sneaked glances on

Usagi, thankfully, he wasn't noticed.

Mamoru knew something was wrong with Usagi, even if she didn't speak. Usually,

Usagi would chat like a chatterbox, telling him stories about her day, which

would make him smile and fill his heart and soul with much needed comfort and

happiness.

Mamoru stopped walking just a couple of feet away from the Sakura tree that he

would usually find Usagi sitting under. When Usagi noticed that she no longer

heard footsteps, she looked up and when she saw him stop on his tracks, so did

she.

"Usagi." Mamoru began, calling out her name. He looked at her, while she avoided

his gaze. "I..." He was about to say something when he noticed that she had a

medical record with her. "Usagi... you went to the Doctor?" He inquired.

Usagi had an almost panicked look, but then replied, "Hai. I did. I just got my

oka-san's records." She lied, putting the folder behind her.

Mamoru shrugged. He was convinced, but somehow, that answer just wasn't right.

"Look, Usagi, I really have to tell you this."

Usagi looked up with a pale look. "Nani Mamoru?" She asked, using his name.

Mamoru was still deciding whether to tell her or not. After all, his words would

forever change the course of history and would change his life forever. Should

he? "Usako..."

"Usagi, Mamoru, it's Usagi." Usagi reminded him with a painful smile.

"Eer right. Usagi. Gomen." Mamoru coughed out and fixed his jacket. "Usagi...

I'm sorry, demo..."

Usagi lowered her gaze. She knew what he wanted to say. After all, he couldn't

keep secrets from her, she was his soul mate, and they were soul bonded. "Mamoru,

don't." Usagi whispered. "I know what you want to say."

Mamoru was surprised. "Y-you know? H-how?" He asked in surprise.

Usagi looked up to him with a painful smile. She smiled for him and him only. "I

saw you with another girl Mamoru. So, I know what you want to say."

Mamoru lowered his head. "Gomen Usagi. I... I just thought... th-that... if,

if I waited... you will... will... become the princess that you were thousands

of years ago."

"You wanted Serenity." Usagi said.

"Hai." Mamoru replied. "Gomen if I caused you trouble Usagi. Even though you are

Serenity's reincarnation... you're just not her. I love her."

Usagi fought back the tears that threatened to fall from her eyes. It hurt a lot

to hear Mamoru say those words, but why? "I understand Mamoru." Usagi said.

"Demo..." Mamoru added. "We should still be together... for the sake of earth

and its people." Mamoru lowered his head. "I just wanted you to know what I

feel. I'm sorry."

Usagi eyed Mamoru, pain coursing through her heart. "Mamoru, you don't have

to. You can love someone else. I still love you, but you don't feel the same, it

would be sin to do that!" Usagi retorted.

Mamoru shook her head. "I promised Serenity, Usagi."

Usagi found her heart had stopped. They were not functioning. She wanted to die

right now. She fell on her knees, dropping on the grass. Matte. If I told him I

was ill with... iie. Usagi thought sadly. If I tell him that and he comes back

to me... he will just be miserable. He will just come back to me because of

pity, not love." She smiled. Iie. Let him be. I will not bind the one I love

with a fate he should not have.

Mamoru crouched down to face Usagi. He could see that tears were forming in her

eyes and how the sight of them hurt him badly. He noticed suddenly that Usagi

seemed very pale, well, who wouldn't be, after what he said. But it was all for

the better.

Usagi stood up and hugged Mamoru. "Mamoru-san." She began, her voice was deeply

hurt, but there was formality in it. "Iie. You will not bound to a destiny you

do not want. Deciding whom to love is your right. I will free you from the bonds

of destiny Mamoru-san." And with that, she released Mamoru, tears fell down like

crystals. She turned around and walked away.

Mamoru wanted to kill himself for having done what he just did. He knew how hurt

she must've been for what he said, but he had to, there be no other choice. He

either had to tell her the truth and suffer for it, or he won't tell her, but

suffer the consequences. Either way, he was the looser. There was no lesser of

two evils.

What surprised and scared Mamoru was the fact that she wasn't wailing like a

crybaby. She took it as is, and instead of running away, she just walked

away. This brought dread to Mamoru's heart, but, suddenly remembering what she

just said, brought even more dread to his heart.

You will not bound to a destiny you do not want. Deciding whom to love is your

right. I will free you from the bonds of destiny Mamoru-san.

He remembered Usagi's words playing in his mind over and over again. "What is

she going to do?" Mamoru wondered as he walked away, deep in thought.

Usagi looked up at the dark blue sky as stars twinkled like little diamonds. The

moon was completely round, giving off the faint light that earth needed to look

like a beautiful mysterious place, but at the same time, a romantic place to

behold.

Tears slipped down her cheeks as she remembered what her doctor just said. "It's

not fair!" Usagi said to herself. "Why is it always me?" She remembered the look

on Mamoru's face when they had their serious conversation earlier in the

afternoon. "Mamo-chan... you don't deserve this."

Luna was awaken by her charge's cry. Luna looked up to find Usagi sobbing on her

pillow while she was bathed in moon's light. "Usagi-chan." Luna whispered sadly.

She walked up to her charge and began rubbing her paws up and down the young

lady's back to soothe her. "Usagi-chan, Dustan desu ka?"

"Oh Luna." Usagi cried as she threw herself in to her guardian. "It's

Mamo-chan." She began as she sobbed frantically.

Luna's eyes became wide at the sound of the young man's name. "What about

Mamoru-san, Usagi chan?" Luna asked soothingly. "What happened a while ago?"

"He doesn't deserve this all Luna! He doesn't!" Was all Usagi said as she hugged

the feline tighter, wetting the black fur while Luna continued to soothe her

charge. "Mamo-chan." She heard Usagi call out in a tone of despair.

Luna was deeply concerned for Usagi. Whatever happened earlier would greatly

affect the young soon to be queen of Tokyo. "Usagi-chan, if you're ready, please

tell me." Luna pleaded.

"Oh Luna." Usagi said. "Mamoru-san doesn't love me Luna, he loves Serenity."

Usagi said, unable to get a hold of her emotions this time. "He told me that the

reason why he is still with me is because he thought I would become the princess

I was thousands of years ago, but I'm not going to be."

Luna felt rage in her heart for what Mamoru said to Usagi, but then, that was

peculiar. She remembered that Mamoru promised Luna that he loved Usagi with all

his heart, and there was sincerity in his voice. So why?

Suddenly, Usagi stopped crying and she felt heavy under Luna. "Usagi?

Usagi-chan? Usagi?!" Luna called out, but Usagi wasn't responding. She placed

Usagi down on the bed and checked her pulse. "Masaka!" Luna said to herself in

disbelief. Luna jumped down the bed and tried waking up Usagi's parents.

Inside the room of the couple, Ikoku was awaken by the loud meowing of Luna. She

stirred, but it wouldn't go away. She finally gave it up and opened the door for

Luna.

"Hai Neko-chan?" Ikoku yawned. "Is something wrong?" She asked.

The cat was panicking and Ikoku felt that the cat wanted to say something. When

she saw that Usagi was lying on the bed limp, and the cat was pointing that way,

she rushed to awaken Kenji.

"Kenji, it's Usagi. Hayaku!" Ikoku screamed, panicking. "Usagi is in trouble.

Wake up!"

Kenji opened his eyes and retrieved his glasses on the nightstand. He was still

groggy and was going to give his wife a piece of his mind, but having herd the

words "Usagi... danger..." He quickly shoved the covers away and jumped to his

feet.

Meanwhile, in Mamoru's apartment, he stood there on the balcony, looking up at

the moon. Oh how he wanted to apologize to the moon for hurting its princess.

But what's done is done. Serenity and Usagi was one of the same person, he knew

that, but still...

Suddenly, a cold rush suddenly filled him, causing him to fall on his knees. He

was clutching his chest as he tried to inhale oxygen. He was panting hard, as if

someone literally ripped his heart out and placed them back. Then, it

disappeared as quickly as it came. Mamoru felt dread all over him... in

realization. "Usa!" He sat down on his couch and pictured Usagi in his mind. He

wanted to know how she was doing.

He saw Usagi lying down on her bed while Luna was looking at her, brushing

strands of hair that covered her face. Relief filled him when he did see that

Usagi was all right. "Yokatta desu ne." And with that, Mamoru slumped back on

the chair.

Meanwhile, Luna was lying beside Usagi who has finally regained pulse. Her

parents wanted to call the ambulance so she be sent to the hospital, but Usagi

didn't want to, saying it was nothing serious, but her parents were

contradicting and finally phoned the hospital.

Usagi was looking pale, as if drained from blood. "Don't do that ever again

Usagi!" Luna scolded. "I was afraid Usagi!"

Usagi looked back at Luna, surprised to find tears. "Luna? Naze?"

"Usagi." Luna began, "You are like a daughter to me little one. Please, take

care of yourself. Please." Luna pleaded.

Usagi hugged Luna with compassion. "Gomen Luna. Yakusoku, it won't happen again,

but Luna..." Usagi trailed off. "Please, don't tell anyone about what just

happened, especially Mamoru-san."

Luna was against what the young lady wanted, but Luna saw determination in her

eyes. Maybe, Usagi was trying to keep something from her... but what? "I promise

Usagi." Then, she remembered that Usagi called him "Mamoru-san", not her usual

"Mamo-chan".

Then, Usagi was finally sleeping peacefully, waiting for the ambulance to

arrive. Luna jumped up on the study table. She knew Usagi was bringing a folder

a while ago, and maybe that held the answers to her questions and to Usagi's sudden

attack, but where could it be? She searched everywhere, then, finally

found it.

She pulled it out and books came tumbling down. Luna looked up to see if Usagi

was awaken, thankfully, she wasn't. Luna flipped the folder open and diligently

read the words, as she went down the paper, her eyes became wider and wider. She

looked at Usagi, pitying her charge and feeling helpless as sadness evaded her

heart.

"Usagi-chan." Luna whispered sadly as the wind carried her words into the open

air as the moon hung above the dark blue sky.

----------------


End file.
